did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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