my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Drunk is not a location!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
