I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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