Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
