mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
