We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
