And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
