She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
