You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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