Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
