Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
