there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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