Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
