I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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