Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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