My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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