apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
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After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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