who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize