i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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