The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
