i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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