sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
