so explain again why im purple
no
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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