i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
