so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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