Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
