remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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