after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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