Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
