i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
