i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
