definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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