normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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