Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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