smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
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Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize