Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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