well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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