i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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