Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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