I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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