They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I want to make a zoo with you.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
