you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
