We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Green mimosas i think yes
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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