dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
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Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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