I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
