Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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