I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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