ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
