Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
