my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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