I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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