do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I love having hate sex.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
