Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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