you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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