Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She said her name was "party"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Randomize