weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
