I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
