ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
