Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
