Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We are all done wearing pants today
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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