There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
