can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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