In the future we'll all be gay
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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