They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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