You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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