u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
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her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
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I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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