Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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