Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
