ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
