Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
