i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
What a dumb baby whore.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
