hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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