The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize