OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's like heaven, but drunker
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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