Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
