20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
