So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
