when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
